If you are reading this then you probably suspect you might be in a toxic relationship with someone suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.
You might have thought of this person as just "difficult" or "high maintenance" in the past but it is getting harder to ignore the warning signs this might be a bit beyond difficult. 😱
You have tried and tried tying yourself into knots to make this relationship work. Because you are a person of integrity, you try and take the blame for things not going well and make up the difference for someone else's relationship skill deficiencies.
You feel stressed when you think about interacting with this person and find yourself always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You have to be careful of what you say and how you say it. You are walking on eggshells all the time.
This is no way to live my friend. (and you know it).
You can take one step towards being free from this relationship by taking this self assessment quiz as it could be the first step towards being able to wrap your head around a set of behaviors that are toxic.
Ultimately it does not matter whether a person has such a disorder or not because these behaviors are not healthy no matter what label you put on them.
Understanding more about this imbalance empowers you to start accepting that it is not about you and is out of your control. The reason this can help you heal is because it creates a container for you to put the dysfunctional relationship in and get some emotional distance. 💗
This self assessment quiz is an educational tool to help you understand the signs that you may be in a toxic relationship with someone suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder.*
Please answer these questions as honestly as possible for the best results and remember when answering yes to a question you are saying this person is capable of the action or behavior but may or may not have it all the time.
1. Does this individual tend to have a marked lack of compassion or empathy towards you and others most or all of the time? (or at times appear to have empathy towards others excluding you.)
2. When you try to hold this individual accountable for their actions or behaviors do they become angry, blaming, avoidant, dismissive, victimized or misdirect you in order to avoid responsibility?
3. Does this individual tend to display any behaviors that could cause harm to people's emotional, mental, physical health or tangible resources such as money or property?
4. Does this individual have a different personality or behaviors at home (or when you are alone) versus in front of others?
5. In conversations does this individual manage to direct the topic back to themselves often?
6. Is this individual extremely sensitive to any kind of criticism or feedback whether constructive or not?
7. Is this individual highly critical, difficult, and hard to please?
8. Has this individual been loving and kind one moment and then withholding and cruel the next?
9. Does this individual seem to lie or make up stories frequently?
10. When you confront this individual about harmful actions do they become blaming, abusive, and twist your words until you're so confused you give up?
11. Do you notice this individual does not want to follow rules or respect anyone's boundaries? (especially yours.)
12. Does this individual seem to feel entitled to your time, energy, attention and other forms of resources?
13. Does this individual have a need for control in every situation?
14. Does this individual tend to exaggerate their achievements and even try to take credit for yours?
15. Has this person tried to discredit you to others by lying or sharing information that was supposed to be private?
Quiz scoring info: Probability Levels (None, Mild, Moderate, High, Extreme)
If the answers are yes to:
0 questions: none
less than 3 questions: mild
3-6 questions: moderate
7-12 questions: high
13-15 questions: extreme
*This self assessment quiz is not meant to diagnose any mental illness or take the place of professional mental health support. If you feel you need support from a mental health professional please visit this site.
If you have determined you might be in a relationship with a narcissist, you might be feeling overwhelmed. My heart goes out to you and I want you to know that you are not alone.
If you can take only one step right now to begin your journey out of this toxic situation, let it be the awareness you are dealing with someone who might be mentally ill or imbalanced in a way you never wanted to admit to yourself before.
It's not your fault and you are not crazy.
I am on your side. May you know joy and ease. 🙏